Archive for audi a4

2012: The year of the demise of the mainstream car?

Posted in General opinions with tags , , , , , , , , , , on 12/01/2012 by Alexander

I recently read an article on Autocar on how Fiat boss Sergio Marchionne believes that European mainstream car manufacturers will experience “zero growth” up until 2014. This gloomy outlook rings true if you think about it. The average consumer, who buys the superminis and mid-range level cars will be the one hit hardest by the austerity measures being implemented across the Old Continent, while the average rich fatcat will sail through the recession unhindered. Proof? Stuff like Rolls Royce’s all-time record sales, the largest in their 107-year history.

So yes, things don’t look too bright for small car makers. And this opinion is especially noteworthy since it came from the head of Fiat, who would be in especially deep s**t if they hadn’t merged with Chrysler (as Sergio Marchionne says in his own words). 15 or 20 years ago, Fiat’s small and mid-range cars dominated the markets they were sold in. One out of every three cars I’d see on the road would be an Uno or Tipo or Punto. Today Fiat practically only sells 500’s in any significant number, but I digress. I want to talk about the future of all these brands that depend mostly on more affordable vehicles.

I’ve said before how car interiors get nicer as time goes by, but this recession will see an end to that tendency, because luxury in common items is proportional to the prosperity of the era they’re made in. In time, we’ll go back to the spartan interiors of shoddy plastics and zero trim, like in a Renault super 5 or Fiat Tipo. We’ll be back to two-spoke steering wheels and the absence of a central column, all in the name of making cars more affordable to the recession-stricken populace.

Or not. Early economics theory, which was the reflection of a 19th-century mindset, said that Man was a rational creature and would make economic decisions that would be in his best interest. We know today for a fact that people are incredibly irrational, and make terrible financial decisions all the time, and that’s especially blatant when it comes to cars. As I keep insisting in various instances all posted on this very blog, the average buyer is overly badge-conscious, and will get neck-deep into debt to go round with a 3-series or A4 (the cheapest one possible, of course) rather than spend less on an equally reliable, better-equipped and better-priced S60 or Mazda6. However, the same frame of mind gets people to buy spanking new cars, be it superminis or mid-range saloons, when a cheaper second-hand one would do, which makes me reckon that perhaps the mainstream market won’t be so f**ked after all.

So if you’re planning to buy a new car, get a nice economical mainstream one instead of a status-car. And get a non-German one, the Germans sell far too many cars and are well-off enough as it is. If it were me, I’d get myself a Citroen C3 or DS3, with a 1.6-litre e-Hdi diesel engine. They’re fab.

Audi A7 – Why?

Posted in Crap cars, Upcoming cars with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 27/07/2010 by Alexander


I’m not a fan of Audi. As I’ve said before, they’re no more than VW’s with four rings nailed onto the front. That said, however, I quite like the Audi A5 coupé, because it has a nice shape and doesn’t have a corresponding VW version. The same can be said, though it’s debatable, of the A6 and the A8, though I don’t like either of them.

So now Audi announces the A7 Sportback, and I just don’t understand what the hell it’s for. Audi say it’s a competitor for the Merc CLS, which makes sense only up to a certain point. For saloon cars, Audi has the A4, the A5 Sportback, the A6, the new A7 Sportback and the A8. That’s five fricking cars that cover everything from family saloon to four-door ostentatious fascist-mobile. Merc have the C-Class, E-Class, CLS and S-Class. That’s only four. BMW have the 3-series, 5-series, the pathetic 5GT and and the 7-series, that’s four too (though they’re coming up with the new 6-series Gran Coupé, which will probably be the first good-looking BMW since 1988).

The problem with Audi, apart from being driven solely by absolute bastards, is that from the front, they all look exactly the same. Yes, perhaps Audi fanboys can tell the difference, but the designers took the “same design-language coherence across the range” thing far too literally. This makes Audis far too bland and boring, with no singular, fantastic-looking model. Mercedes have the CLS for this, and it also justifies the existence of the model, even though it’s really only an E-Class in a frock.

So why would I buy an A7 Sportback? Want a four-door coupé? There’s the A5 Sportback.”Ah, but I want it to be luxuriuos”. Get an A8. I don’t get it.

I wish it would flop like the absolutely stupid 5-series GT seems to be doing, but alas, car-buyers are far too thick not to be fooled by the overpriced crap the Big German Three flog on the market.

A blight on God’s clean Earth #1 – The Audi range

Posted in A blight on God's clean Earth, Crap cars with tags , , , , on 18/07/2009 by Alexander

A blight in God’s clean Earth is a section dedicated to cars I hate or particular stuff about a certain car or cars I hate. The latter is exemplified in this first post.

Audi should really read “moron-mobile”. It’s no that the cars are rubbish, far from it, it’s just the patronage Audi displays. Let’s start with the basics: of the German Big Three (i.e., the German luxury brands, Audi, BMW, Merc), Audi is the poor cousin. A BMW is a BMW. A Merc was born a Merc. An Audi is a Volkswagen in a frock. The Audi A3? An overpriced Golf. The A4? A Passat with four rings on it.

The folks from VW were as clever as the customers were stupid. Get a normal an existing VW, change the trim a bit and charge more than would be reasonable, and idiots with more cash in their wallets than brains in their skulls will flock to the showrooms. And by golly, they have.

And then there’s the offensive 1.9-litre turbodiesel, an engine that’s 91 dog years-old. And Audi customers, being the f**king retards they are, buy this version the most.

Audi drivers are all thick morons who want to look like they’re rich thick morons. They are all posers who like to pretend they understand something more than nothing about cars. They all drive dangerously and terribly, but what would one expect from a breed with such low I.Q.? An even larger problem is that morons are rife, since the street seem to vomit Audis. I’d post a picture but it would be too offensive to the casual reader.