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I’ve been silent these past weeks because it would seem the motoring world has nothing more to announce than a new Jag XKR, a new Aston Martin, a new Lambo, a new Ferrari, etc., etc. I’m sorry, but is there a generalised lunacy that you have to like these cars, or you’re a crap driver and don’t know what a good automobile is? Is everyone insane? These cars are very nice to look at, but that’s it. They’re insultingly expensive, impractical, ostentatious and have no purpose other than going illegally, dangerously fast in the hands of people with more money than skill, let alone sense. The boot-licking subservience to so-called supercars can be so pathetic it boggles the mind. The Ferrari 458 is elected the best car in some useless competition no-one’s ever heard of, even though it has the tiny little flaw of spontaneously catching fire and burning to an expensive cinder.

All of these multi-centennial horsepower, petrol-gulping machines, that hardly anyone swooning and drooling over them can even afford, are presented against the backdrop of record-high fuel prices. The underlying message is: if you have the gall of not being wealthy, you can walk and watch us fatcat greedy bastards waste oil. Why should I care about a car I can’t afford, and most probably wouldn’t buy if I could afford it, if I’m struggling to scrape together enough cash to make it possible to get my current jalopy from A to B? Do I really care that a new €300,000 sports car has 0.002% more grip in a corner than last year’s equivalent model? I can’t fathom why all I read about is these crapmobiles when I’d prefer to see more written about future tech related to better fuel economy and such.

Motoring journalism is an incredibly stupid, self-centred business. I suspect the only reason people get into it is to one day borrow a V12 two-seater and thrash it round a track, and then write extensive prose on what brilliant drivers and how cool they are for having done so how fantastic it was and what a superb machine it is. Of course, to accomplish this, you have to a complete weasel and suck up to and pour heaps of praise on every piece of bilge the motoring industry churns out that has a five-digit price tag, and give them awards they don’t deserve.

At least the motoring industry has finally been obliged to head in the right direction and go for the smarter, more efficient aspects of cars. Perhaps one day motoring journalists will follow.

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