A1 – isn’t that a paper size?

For some reason, Autocar reports that the new Audi A1 is “poised to become the biggest-selling model in the firm’s history following its UK launch this October.” Which is strange, considering some basic facts:

– It’s nothing more than a VW Polo with four rings glued onto the front grill.
– It’s absolutely nothing special to behold. It’s been styled by lazy people, who just did a downsized A3, and said “That’ll do.” The VW Polo its based on is much better-looking.
– It’s horrendously expensive.

But then again, customer stupidity knows no bounds. If absolute automotive cesspools such as the Austin Allegro, Renault Super 5 (the original R5 was sublime) and first-generation Citroen C5 sold like there was no tomorrow, there can be no doubt people will throw their money away on things with four wheels anyone with some sense of motoring judgement sees to be a disaster from miles away.

– It’s got four rings on it. Audi drivers are all stupid.
– Overpricing attracts rich delinquents. If you have an Audi and a VW, that share the same parts, same servicing in the same place, but charge €300 for servicing the VW and €400 for the Audi, people with too much money for their own good will automatically think they’re paying for quality.

Now unfortunately for me, fans of the Big German 3 (BMW, Merc and Audi), are all tasteless morons who can’t take criticism, so they’ll all be round to insult me and make threats. The rest of you who aren’t apes, take my advice and steer clear of this crap car. The VW Polo is better.

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